Shapeless. Tasteless. Scentless.
Though it carries an enormous weight.
Pushing down on your shoulders, your heart.
Squeezing the energy out of you,
acting out like an oil press.
Feeding the greedy entities around you,
sucking up your spirit into a black hole.
Be warned, be watchful.
Drain away the build-up before it overflows and floods all over your life.
(Dedicated to writers struggling to hold on to their dreams while trying to keep all their balls up in the air.)
Always knew the crush wasn’t what it seemed,
Didn’t know how to fix it.
No choice but let it soak
Into
My mind,
My dreams,
My spine.
Learned about your goal,
I can help you,
We can make it real,
I thought.
Understanding struck,
You don’t need my help.
Rather,
I don’t need to help you.
You are and will do great on your own.
Step 1.
Recognize my pattern.
The tie of crush backing out,
Almost undetected.
Words from a wise friend,
Wrote reflections in journal.
Oh, up till this point,
I only wanted,
Wanted you,
Wanted you to need me.
But never what you wanted.
Step 2.
Recognize my ego.
The lake of crush drained,
A few puddles remained.
I still care,
Heart still smiles,
Feelings now logical.
The idea of him, of being with him,
seeps into the gaps of your train of thought.
You keep busy, overwhelm your brain,
Try to stop thinking about him, about being with him.
It’s not healthy, you tell yourself, inside your head.
No way he’d ever be interested in you, you wonder.
Maybe he has a girlfriend, you assume.
You don’t want him, you yell at yourself, inside your head.
He is only perfect because he lives inside your mind, you reason.
He plays with his booger and scratches his crotch, you pretend.
Enough! I said, not inside my head.
You know how you can stop this craziness?
Stop thinking!