Past Life Healing: Brutal Force Style

Sadness welled up, triggered by simple lyrics, a song about life after the passing of his love. Only this sadness didn’t feel like mine. I am living a blessed life. After several weeks, when this sadness still surfaced with the song during random plays, determined to release this emotion, I decided to face it head-on, brutal force style.

Bringing Past Life Pain to the Surface

The morning of a day with nothing scheduled, I put on my headphone, set to loop just this one song, took a deep breath, and braced for what’s coming.

I want to watch you leave, follow behind you wondering the streets.
I’m waiting for you to turn and look at me then decide to stay eventually.

The tears came. I was watching a little boy and I was the little boy. He was peeking through a slit in a shabby wooden door as his father walked away from the lens maker’s work shed.

I want to take your little hand and say let’s go home.

I was crying now. The sorrow was deep yet without a solid root in me.

The boy was almost sure his father would change his mind the very next moment and take him home. A father who marked his anger all over his little boy’s body and heart. A father who hated his son for taking his wife’s life during the childbirth.

Talking with my Past Life Self

The boy knew that was only wishful thinking. His silent cry rang inside me, “Don’t leave me here, take me with you!”

I stepped forward and wrapped him in my arms. He looked up and said “Why doesn’t anyone love me?”

“I love you. Whenever you need a hug, think of me, you will feel me here with you.” I let him cried a little longer.

“You have to forgive the grown ups, they don’t know what you are doing to themselves and to you. You are strong, don’t ever give up. I am always here for you.”

Shifting to The End of His Life

He was dying and I was keeping him company. He was forced into the army, now wounded and bleeding to death on the battle field.

I held him and said “You can let go now, you’ve done your best.” After he left his body, I sent my gratitude along.

“Thank you. Your strength to survive this long allowed our soul to go forward in your lifetime. I will work to release the pain and always be grateful for what you have contributed to the growth of our soul.”

More Notes

The scenes I described did not appeared to me visually. I only sensed the events happening. I’ve made peace with not being able to “see” as many intuitive people can.

I only knew about this past life from a session with Ainslie MacLeod. Though this felt like real-time, I was not “reliving” that life as many people experience in the past life regressions.

As I was writing the drafts of this post, the sadness still returned when I read the lyrics. A friend then offered to use ETF (Emotional Freedom Techniques or tapping) to release this past life trauma.

When she was done, she mentioned it was easier than expected and that I must have processed a lot of it already. I guess my Brutal Force Style healing did work, just not as fast as ETF.

Later, I tested it again on my own by reading the lyrics and listening to the song and the same emotion did not return.

First Session with Ainslie MacLeod: Getting the Most Out of It

Read His Books

Whether you’ve just made an appointment for a past life reading with Ainslie MacLeod or considering getting one, give yourself plenty of time to read his books before the session.

The information Ainslie and his guides bring you are all based on what’s in these books. You do not want to waste your valuable session time on having Ainslie explain the basics that you could have learned from these books.

The Instruction: Living the Life Your Soul Intended

The Instruction: Living the Life Your Soul Intended by Ainslie MacLeod

The Instruction talks about soul ages, types, missions, fears, and more. What are yours?

For your soul types, you can take the quiz on the site. The top results were spot on compared to what Ainslie told me during the session.

In the book, he provides the Open Heart meditation to help you connect with your guides in figuring out your own soul ages, types, missions, and fears. I was not really good at meditation and not sensitive enough to get messages from my guides. I tried anyway but in the end I just picked what felt right for me.

Don’t worry about getting it wrong. It’s more important that you have something to base on in case Ainslie tells you otherwise (like he did with Oprah, about 31:11 into this audio interview).

Pay extra attention to the differences, they might be important. For me, they kept taking me back to how I was as a child, my true self.

The Transformation: Healing Your Past Lives to Realize Your Soul’s Potential

The Transformation: Healing Your Past Lives to Realize Your Soul's Potential by Ainslie MacLeod

The Transformation talks deeper about our past life fears and how it will change the future of humanity through The Transformation.

The Transformation is the upcoming shift to “Stage Four Consciousness”, the final level. In the shift to “Stage Three Consciousness” human gained the abilities of intellect. In stage four, we reconnect with our soul, resulting in the best balance of mind and spirit.

What we all need to do is to be our true selfies and become the Transformation. We can accomplish that using this book to:

  1. Identify our past life fear
  2. Take the corresponding action (motivation)
  3. Get the result (goal) of reconnecting with the part of the soul blocked by the past life fear

Depending on your situation, he and his guides might provide a specific healing exercise along with the particular fear you are facing currently. Once you know what your past life fears are, the book is also a good DIY healing tool.

After Getting the Appointment Confirmation

  • Clear the schedule of the morning or the evening before your appointment
  • Keep one to two hours open after your session ends
  • Be aware of what/who drains your energy, what keeps your spirit down, take notes on the patterns that emerged.

Preparing for the Session

The morning or the evening before, find your favorite writing instrument* and a notebook (or a stack of paper), write down ALL that plague your life especially long-term issues (physical and otherwise) without obvious origin, and in the order of intensity/urgency. (* Using a pen with poor or inconsistent ink flow would interrupt the stream of thoughts, so do find one that writes smoothly.)

If you don’t know where to start, begin by scribbling circles. When something pops into your mind, write it down, even if it doesn’t make sense. Once you start, keep going, no judging, no crossing out, don’t stop until you know you are done. Then go back to see what jumps out at you.

Review your lists from the two books, especially if it has been months since you last read them.

Read the FAQ to make sure you didn’t miss anything.

During the Session

  • Get ready to take notes with your favorite pen/pencil and paper/notebook, the session is not recorded.
  • Ainslie is really easy to talk to, just follow his lead.
  • Listen well and write as much down as possible. There will be so much information coming your way, you really don’t want to miss anything.
  • However, if something is aching to come out, speak up. Or if you are not sure about what you heard, be sure to ask for confirmation. (He mentioned the locations of the wounds that resulted in a past life death but I did not ask him to go over that again, now I am left guessing.)

After the Session

  • Take an hour or two to redo your notes while the memory is fresh.
  • In the process, you might remember things you missed, or emotional reactions you had, put those down as well.
  • Don’t stop until you are done.

In The Following Days

  • Go through your notes with both books to help your healing or growing process.
  • Pay attention to the changes in your body and your emotional states, I usually write them down or talk to a friend about it. It’s like airing out your rug, though it might take a while but once the old dusts are gone with the wind, they are gone for good.

Say Hello to Your True Self

I very much enjoyed my sessions with Ainslie. He and his guides confirmed and cleared many things for me. It has been more than six months since my first session and I am still noticing patterns that he mentioned which I couldn’t recognize at the time.

I am finally moving forward with a clear purpose, work is finally like play. Some of my physical issues also improved, not to mention how much happier and more energetic I am.

Finding your true self is an adventure that is worth the challenge. Ainslie and his guides just make it easier. I hope this will help you get the most out of your time with Ainslie.

The Transformation is happening and I am glad you are coming with me.

Stupid Spring

Stupid spring
Stupid songs

Urges to love and be loved
Sprung a stupid spring

Love makes one stupid
Contending my religion

Plugging the spring doesn’t work
Spewing back at my face

Basking in spring doesn’t work
Attachment harbors a pending doom

Stupid spring!
Stupid spring!
STUPID SPRING!

Simple Ingredients Rice Flour Baking

Rice for Wheat

Medical Medium Life-Changing Foods by Anthony William

Once I understood that “Small Annoyances Must Die!“, I cut wheat, dairy, and eggs (was already off corn for the Round-Up gene contamination) as suggested by Anthony William in Life-Changing Foods to stop many little health issues along with other healing methods I will be writing about in the future. That left me with rice being the main option to replace wheat.

In my search for options, I was surprise how hard it is to find vegan + gluten-free + organic options in my local natural food market.

Stop Faking My Food

Besides that, many gluten-free breads and gluten-free mixes contains ingredients that I want to avoid (corn based additives, xanthan gum, sugar, modified cellulose, certain oils, etc.), some because of the health implications, some because I just want simple, basic ingredients.

Let’s face it, rice will never taste like wheat. Just get over it and stop judging rice bake goods as the wheat ones. We have already done so much harm to our bodies faking sugar, meat, butter, and many more.

Cook or Die… A Little

To have a say in what’s in my food, I ended up spending much more time in the kitchen. Stir-fry, curry, and many Asian dishes are perfect to go with rice. But I still need some bake goods for when I am short on time. By luck, I caught Medical Frontiers Special – Search for Superfoods in Niigata on NHK World.

In the last segment, rice flour baking expert, Sakumi Tamori showed us 3 rice based baking recipes. I’ve only baked the cookies and the scones so far.

My Baking Experiments

I first tried to make my own rice flour but my little Vitamix S50 wasn’t powerful enough, and my cookies turned out a bit grainy. So I switched to Bob’s Red Mill Organic White Rice Flour.

The cookies also were too hard for me, I swapped out some potato starch with tapioca flour and added some baking powder. And to save time, I scooped my dough into little domes, rolling and cutting was too messy as well.

For the scones, my savory version uses sweet potato in place of the banana and added my grounded herb mix (also per Anthony‘s suggestions), chopped onion, garlic, green onion, and jalapeño. I then freeze them for when I don’t have time to cook.

I also use local raw honey instead of sugar in both recipes. As for the rice oil suggested in the video, I use refined sesame oil (445F smoking point) since I am not sure if what we can get in the States are the same thing as the Japanese ones.

Cheating A Little Is Not A Sin

I understand that majority of people don’t have the luxury to cook all the time. Anthony mentioned just do your best to cut down on the ingredients that are not good for you.

I cheat when I am super hungry/busy/lazy but I do try to pick the best options from the deli of my local natural food store. After all, we do die sooner from hunger than from a little unhelpful food.

My #1 USA Made Bakeware, Non-Toxic, Stick-Resist, Metal Safe

(This post only applies to LloydPans dark coating products.)

Switched Again for Lighter, Tougher Pans

About 10 years back, I replaced all of my baking pans to ones made in USA. They were silicon coated to be nonstick.

After a while, I noticed the pans began to have brown patches. I was worried that if elements can seep through the coatings then the aluminum would have come in contact with the food, too. Also, these pans tend to be heavy and hard to handle during baking and washing, especially the care needed to not scratch the coating.

I started my search for new pans, determined to find something better and still made in USA. Then I stumbled upon a site for serious pizza makers and it led me to LloydPans.

Why I Love Using LloydPans

  • Made in Spokane Valley, Washington, USA
  • Their special DARK coatings: Pre-Seasoned Tuff-Kote® and Dura-Kote®
    • Non-toxic, water base (eco-friendly), PTFE and PFOA free sealer
    • The sealer gets down into the pores to form the seal over the anodized metal surface (I think that prevents interaction with food and metal)
    • no seasoning the pans (I wash them after each use to avoid the need)
    • no oiling before baking (from my own experiences)
    • safe with metal utensil (hand whisks, spatulas, NOT knives/mixers)
    • stick resistant
    • safe to heat up to 700 F (450 F is the limit for silicon coated pans)
    • absorbs heat very well
  • Light weight — easier to handle when baking and washing
  • Eco-friendly manufacturing
  • Easy to clean (more details next)

Easy to Clean

  • Metal utensil safe = less worry! Now I don’t have to be careful about forks and table knives touching the pans in the sink
  • For stubborn stuck-on food, I just soak it in warm water for 30 min, using a flexible spatula (a rep. at LloydPans told me she uses her metal spatula to do this and her pans still works well) to work on the toughest spots, then finish off with a with my 100% plant based Scotch-Brite Non-Scratch Scrub Sponge (read my review)
  • No rust nor stain so far after 3 months of frequent use (I dry mine at 150 F for a few minutes in my toaster oven so I can put them away sooner.)

More Tips and Notes

  • Read and follow the instructions from LloydPans. If you have more questions after that, go to LloydPans.com, you can chat or call them for help. I had great customer service experiences with them.
  • NEVER put empty oiled pans in the oven, it’s bad for the coating.
  • Watch and adjust the oven temperatures and positions the first time you use your LloydPans with any recipes. Their dark coated pans absorb heat very well, one time I had to turn my toaster oven down 50 F.
  • Best to hand wash — I hand wash mine with 3M eco sponge (made in USA) and Attitude dish soap (made in Canada, read my review). According to LloydPans, the dish washer cleaners harm the coating.
  • “Beauty Marks” is okay — During the production process, where the clamps hold the pan, there are marks left on the reams, it doesn’t effect the performance nor the durability of the pan.

Where to Buy

  • For immediate availability try Amazon
  • Direct from LloydPans or LloydPans Kitchenware (for cookware and other home kitchen products) — I am a bit picky and wanted items as close to my ideal as possible, so I ordered from them. If they don’t have the items in stock, they will make them for you, so it may take a while. They will send you an estimated date after you placed the order.

Better Cooking Life Through LloydPans

Being a slow cook, using LloydPans pans and baking dish saves me time and many little annoyances in the kitchen. And USA made products still rock!

P. S. Want more USA made goods? See what else I actually use or shop at my Made in USA Amazon Store.

Small Annoyances Must Die!

Fine, it may sound over the top but they were slowly killing my spirit and taking my health with it.

One day some years ago, I snapped at a family member, it was the wake-up call telling me that I was no longer my happy self. The stress of dealing with details from work and from taking care of people and things had got to me.

Fixing Big Things Is Not Enough

Luckly, even though I was struggling, I had enough energy left to fight back hard. I changed how I work, Konmari-cleaned my room, and did my best not to push myself too hard. Still, I was tired, irritable, extremely indecisive, plus, feeling stuck, alone, and helpless. All signs pointed to depression.

Hunting Down My Inner Energy Vampire

If fixing big things didn’t finished the job, what else was draining my energy and joy?

Then I remembered why Konmari method works. The process helped me remove the noises in my environment and inefficiency in my everyday tasks. When I was done, not only I ended up with a space I want, I am saving time, energy, and grief every time I reach for something I need.

Small Annoyances = Noises of Life

Once I realized this, I observed how I move through the day, a major pattern emerged. I was constantly stopping to clear my nose and throat, an issue I had lived with for a long time. Though the respiratory congestion was never severe enough to see a doctor, once I noticed that I could not un-see how it consumed my life.

Since then I have been working to cure it and I will be sharing my experiences in future posts. In the process, I am also solving other little things that annoy me, something simple like replacing heavy pans with lighter ones for easy cleaning and handling.

Must Small Annoyances Die?

Living with small annoyances is like being in the stop-and-go traffic.

  • It demands your constant attention (induces fatigue).
  • It is a danger to your life (brings on road rage, increases chance of accidents).
  • If you do it everyday then it turns into a chronic, sometimes permanent, mental and physical illnesses.

So yes, be like the Dalek with tiny irritations,

EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Soul’s Work, Happy Work

For all who are searching for the right way.

Binge watching
      singers compete
Spreading love of music
Doing soul’s work
Losing became secondary
In a flash, realizing 
Writing posts
     trials and errors
Sharing answers from curiosity
Doing soul’s work
Ranking comes last

Lynne McTaggart’s Intention Masterclass: Experiences + Advice

This Post Is for…

I am assuming you are here because you have read the course description for the latest “The Power of Eight Intention Masterclass” and want to know what it would be like before you sign up.

Hear from a past Intention Masterclass participant

If you have not, Lynne teaches this online course every year and she updates the contents with her growing knowledge and experiences. So instead of linking you to the class page, visit Lynne’s site, signup for the newsletter or watch for early-bird discount near the end of the year.

Before you go on, please keep in mind these are my own experiences and opinions, know that you might have a very different experience.

First, Learn The Basics with Lynne

Every week of the 6 weeks when Lynne teaches live, you will learn the science and the basics of intending and practice with randomly assigned classmates.

[Advice] Don’t get frustrated or discourage if you can’t get the results like some. Just keep practicing, you need time to learn the skills and to accept and recognize that you, too, have those amazing abilities. I thought I didn’t learn much the first time through but now that I have done it a second time, I see I was building on my efforts back then.

[Advice] If you are paired with someone you click with be sure to find a way to contact each other so you’d have a practice partner before the yearlong groups are assigned. Lynne creates a FB group for each year, usually that would be the place to search if you didn’t get a chance to exchange info during the class.

The Best Starts After The Masterclass Ends

For me, the yearlong group experiment is why the tuition is worth every penny.

The Power of Eight: Harnessing the Miraculous Energies of a Small Group to Heal Others, Your Life, and the World
Learn more about intending in small group


After the 6 lectures, Lynne and her team will do their best to assign 10-12 people into a group so there is a better chance of having 8 members making it to each meeting.

Lynne will ask for a monthly report to check your progress until about 12 months after the first lecture. So if your group starts meeting quickly, you would get about 10 months.

From Lynne’s experience, 8 works the best, you can learn more from her book The Power of Eight: Harnessing the Miraculous Energies of a Small Group to Heal Others, Your Life, and the World.

My first time through the class, we were left with 3 people at the end, though we still saw some results, this group did not meet again after the year ended.

It was a good thing though, I was not at a very good place mentally and physically. I needed a break after a year of not missing a single meeting.

Second Time Is The Charm

After making some life changes, I was slowly getting better. When Lynne’s early-bird offer came, I decided to try again. This time, I connected with a member soon after the group assignment. And before the first group meeting, two of us intended for a group with wonderful members to grow and learn with. And it worked!

We were one of the groups that started regular meeting quickly. Even with privacy and technical concerns, everyone was gamed and did what one could to learn the secured social media and online meeting platforms.

Our Group of Love And Light

Our members are supportive, forward moving, kind, easy to work with, highly enlightened, intelligent, and humorous, I can go on for a while here. Every week, together, by intending and problem solving (adjusting the intention statements to be more effective), we bonded as a circle of love and light. I am proud to say we have pretty good results in helping ourselves and others this year.

Thanks to my group mates, I am happier, more confident, and has regained most of the energy and health I used to have. And after years of asking for an answer, I figured out a firm new direction to go as a writer but without the stress and pressure I felt. Not all the results came directly from specific intentions but 100% brought to me by my group mates!

With them, I can speak freely and not worry about sounding crazy or silly. It’s a great feeling to find this many like minded people and be with them every week. At the end of the year and there were still 7-8 participants every week. There were people who dropped off or switched earlier on but new members just fit right in. It is not a coincident who came to be in our group.

[Advice] To get most out of the class, prepare to commit to attend the group meetings for the whole year. If you can’t do that and still want to try, perhaps Lynne’s live, in-person Intention Workshops would be a better choice.

Have Goals, Not Expectations

Having solid reasons for taking this class would keep you on track as you intend during the year. They are also a good way to track your progress.

Not having any expectation about the class might bring you many unexpected gifts by not setting limits to what may come your way.

Be Kind & Have Patience

You may experience technical/admin issues during the year, remember that Lynne and her team are dealing with a large group of people, know that they always try to provide us as best as they are able.

Giving by Receiving

Like me, most people find it hard to receive, through both of my groups, I leaned that receiving is also an important part of intending.

Being a good receiver in general, it could be as simple as accepting a compliment with grace, allows you to sync up better with the receivers of your intentions which helps you deliver your gifts with better results. At the same time, there is a better chance for your own intention to manifest since you are better prepared to receive.

My Intention for You

Whether you end up taking the course or not, be like a Jedi, as I feel sometimes when practicing the art of intending, May The Force Be with You!

N2N 2.0

This is a declaration and a future self reminder for the new direction of Needs to Note.

Changing for A Better Me

Starting in 2019, I am changing gears for many areas of my life. I am no longer pursuing sci-fi/mystery writing. During 2018, I have been devoting most of my time in being healthy, mind, body, and soul. And even reading mystery has becoming a point of stress since I didn’t have the time nor energy to finish the books before they were due back at the library.

In the process of becoming a better me, I have been:

  • Reading/learning about alternative thinking and the science behind it
  • Reading/learning about alternative and natural healing methods
  • Finding products that works best for me (little annoyances accumulate into stress)

After a wise source pointed this out, it’s now seems natural to shift my focus in these areas.

So instead of scattering my energy on both fiction writing and getting healthier, I have let go of writing a novel. “Wouldn’t that be squandering all your past efforts?” someone said and I replied “No, because I can perhaps present non-fiction in an interesting way that would be easier to understand and absorb.” I was surprised by my reply, I didn’t realize how ready I was to make this change.

Changing for A Better Whole

I often find myself linking several different fields and combining them to maximize the effects, it’s a whole is greater than the sum of its parts kind of a thing. Though it might evolve into its own form, this is where I’ll start.

I am still treating N2N as a personal notebook and in the process if I can provide a reader something helpful then it would be an extra blessing to me, mind, body, and soul.

I thank you, reader of the past, present, and future, with appreciation for the seeker in you.

Without Trust, I Lose

Discounted Love

Whenever this new friend tells me that she could talk to me forever, “yeah, right.” echoes in the shadowy part of my mind. It’s not because I think she has an ulterior motive, all the facts told me she had done much for me and never asked for anything back.

To me, it is unbelievable that someone with their own free well would think that about me. I can’t say that I hate myself or feel like a fraud but somehow I just don’t feel that can be true.

A heart-felt compliment often leaves me stuttering, unable to accept and reply gracefully. I’d think, they are just being nice, it can’t possibly be true.

It’s sad, really, reading what I just wrote…
How am I so cruel to myself when I would never do that to others?

Without trust, I’ve discounted the love I get.
Without trust, I’ve discounted the love I give.
Without trust, I lose.

Discounted Me

Often when I couldn’t finish my to-do list, I would ask why I can’t do more, faster, and better like other people. I ignore all that I have done, I give myself no credit.

It’s horrifying, reading what I just wrote…
How am I so terrible to myself when I would never think that of others?

Without trust, I’ve discounted my efforts, my talents, my potential,
Without trust, I’ve discounted my future, my life, my self.
Without trust, I lose.

Discounting Discontinued

To the suspicious part of me,

What if I just choose to believe what my friend said?
What if I just choose to see the good in myself as I would in other?
What would be so bad about that?

So, as of now, all discounts have been discontinued.
I deserve 100% of me.
And yes, that includes you.

I’ll still need you from time to time if a real danger comes.
Meanwhile, please enjoy your long overdued rest.

It’s time to let Trust take over,
because without trust, we all lose.