(continued from part 2)

How will I change after meeting Don Tillman?

• Acknowledge my own improvements

  Don always notice it when he did something better or new and I hope to do the same for myself.

  Instead of feeling anxious and guilty when I can’t work on my books, I will give myself credits for every book I read and every piece I wrote, project related or not.

  Being someone who could not pass English in junior high, anything I do in English is an achievement.

• Changing in behavior is not equal to changing as a person

  I don’t yet know how to implement this but realized it as something crucial for interpersonal relationships.

100 stars out of 5

Who’d ever thought reading a rom-com would change my life more than any self-help book. (This is how I want my book to do for my readers, by the way) I learned more about myself, about the Asperger’s syndrome and not having to be drenched in sadness and conflicts but in the interaction and growth between the in the characters. All the while being carried along by the romance and the mystery.

100 stars for The Rosie Project, given as a human being and as a writer.

(continued from part 1)

What I learned from Don Tillman

Later on in the book, Don began to adjust to the change by shifting to a “new mind configuration”, like from the scheduling mode to the adaptability mode, and that is how he is able to experience a fuller life.

As a super nervous traveler, trips is full of the unknown, I am encouraged to shift into the “fearless adventurer mode” for my next trip. I want to use my energy to enjoy the time with my companions and not waste it on my irrational worries.

And for things I did not plan for… How will I know I’m in the wrong mode? When I feel frustrated.

I’ve known it’s not helpful to add negative emotion during problem solving. With this method, it is now a concrete step to help me execute the solution with efficiency and without the self-imposed turmoil.

That means things may change but I now know how to shift into peace.

Other traits I share with Don Tillman

(Don Tillman wouldn’t think of writing this review without at least one list)

• I value directness

  Though I might be better at reading social cues and capable of using flowering language, I much rather not having to guess or having others guess the meaning of what’s said. It seems a waste of time and energy.

• Socially challenged

  In 6th grade, my classmates called me weird. I was aware that I am not like others but never thought it was a problem. Come to think of it, I did not have many friends then.

  In junior high, by accident, I became the class clown on several occasions.

• My intensity is misinterpreted as mania

  I am curious by nature and love asking people unusual questions. Sometimes my intense interest scare people away.

• Solving issues by books/research

  I, too, tend to go for books or do research when I encounter a problem. Even when it’s related to spirituality and mental wellbeing which might be better solved by going through experiences.

  Over the years, I was lucky enough to add intuition and self awareness to my toolbox.

• Living by projects

When I have a goal, I plan the steps necessary, then set out to finish each no matter how long it takes. I didn’t not know before reading this book but I was living by projects.

Right now I have:

• A book project (a soft sci-fi fiction)
• A metaphysical project (for evidence of a Buddhist belief that mind creates all and as related to the “observer effect” in quantum physics)
• Cooking projects (retry on various steam buns and thin-style dumpling skin)

(more reactions to reading The Rosie Project)

“A romantic comedy, a mystery, and an entertaining teaching aid all rolled into one” is an gross understatement of what The Rosie Project (by Graeme Simsion) turned out to be for me.

Other than the occasional itches, I haven’t been reading many romance novels. When my sister recommended this book, I had confirmed its quality by the super long waiting list at the library and decided that it’s likely that I won’t be waiting my life. And that is exactly what Don Tillman, the hero of the book, would do in my situation.

Could I have Asperger’s, too?

I was astonished to find out how many traits I share with Don, such as the dislike of time waster, inefficiency, and lack of planning. And I always have a project or two on hand and the one-track mind to get them done. At some point in the book, I understood the reasons behind all the weird looks I have gotten so far in my life.

Digitized drama queen

Unlike Don, I was a drama queen as a child but some how it was stamped out of me along the way. Perhaps it was the pressure to measure up to more successful peers or the stress to survive in a strange land with a new language, my mind had installed virtual mechanical gears into my head and keeps me on zeros and ones most of the time. In fact, I learned to code before I could communicate in English. It can not be a coincident that Don Tillman’s first career attempt was with computer, too.

Somehow, when my super emotional, unorganized, learned by whatever made sense to me methods was no longer acceptable, logic and discipline became the tools I utilized to earned a college degree and my first career. The same tools have served me well in my life but the awareness of the need to change and grow has always remained. And that is what led me to the design field and now as a writer.

Coping with the unexpected

Writing a book, as I had expected, turned out to be a long-term project. I didn’t and still can’t read fast enough to make me the best selling author of the next month and in my case, it might take years but I was ready for it.

What I didn’t expect was life’s many interruptions that doesn’t allow me to be rigid with my schedule. The unpredictable work requests, the needs to care for others, all the real-world responsibilities had turned me into the time waster I detest. I was frustrated and stressed out because nothing (an exaggeration, obviously) seemed to go according to my plan to finish my novel.

Don schedules everything down to the minute and enjoys the peaceful and predictable outcome like I’d like my life to be. Though he was flexible enough to change his plans for the unexpected, he also needed time to let the stress of making the adjusted out of his system.

My symptoms for not having the “flushing out” period results in agitations and anger spikes, then all added up to a complete burn-out, which seemed more pronounced as my expiration date gets closer. The fact that I don’t know when that would come only adds to the urgency.

(more reactions to reading The Rosie Project)